Goodbye Green Super Sludge

I tried one of the superfood sludge mixes promising great health and greater happiness. Here’s my experience:

Goodbye Green  Super Sludge
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Try it, buy it they say
You’ll like it, drink it every day!
I  deleted emails and ads begging me to explore
I ignored, I balked; please no more!

I do not want your superfood cocktail
Not in my drinks, on my food or in my mail.
12 servings of fruits and veggies in one gulp
My diet doesn’t need that help.

I eat balanced meals of many colors and forms
Meats, fish, veg, grains and fruit are the norm
I splurge on dessert when I’m able
Cakes, candy and ice cream aren’t banned from my table.

I take a few vitamins prescribed by my doc
No need for your probiotics and enzymes round the clock.
I absorb and digest most foods with ease
When it comes to meals, I’m not hard to please.

Yet you continued to badger and boast
I felt myself weakening while eating my toast
Finally I succumbed; figured what the hay?
I’ll try it, who knows, maybe it will make my day.

You promise more energy, vitality and zest
There’s a free trial, please give it a test.
I mixed a tablespoon into my juice
Sipped slowly, wondering if there’s any truth.

Drinking a glass so full made me bloated
I wasn’t sold on this mixture so loaded.
I tried a few days, you say give it a chance.
I’m impatient I know; your powder gave me cramps.

I called and cancelled the order for more
You tried to convince me better days were in store.
No thanks, I insisted. Your green sludge isn’t for me.
I’d rather eat what I like and not pay your fee.

Maybe I’m missing life’s elixir
For me at least, this isn’t the answer.

What about you? Are you a protein smoothie, liquid green type?

(This is my response to WordPress’ Daily Challenge: Golden Years.http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/weekly-writing-challenge-golden-year)